Yesterday, I was sick and finally went to bed for keeps a few minutes after four in the afternoon. I totally forgot my blog and broke my Lenten promise. I feel really bad about this; but, I think it might be a learning experience.
I came across a post in the migraine twitter feed I follow titled, "I Need an Intervention." The intervention was to get the writer to take a day off. I've often had an image of myself running on a treadmill. One part of me - the part that frets over everything - is yelling, "Faster!! Faster!!" The commonsense part of me is shouting, "Stop! Stop! You need a day off!" I listen to my anxious self until my commonsense self grabs a huge two-by-four labelled "Migraine" and brains me with it. On the whole, I think the relaxing and fun day off was a far better idea. Why don't I listen?
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I have the same voices, and I get the same response. I go and go until my body says to stop. And then I roll up the drawbridge and heal.
ReplyDeleteI have to stop myself sometimes and ask what it is that makes me feel so compelled to run until I drop. What am I afraid of? I've been really good for a year about not doing this, about not working myself sick.
The strange thing is, when I don't do it, I rely more on God. And that usually ends up working out much better than I could imagine.
And don't feel bad about the Lenten promise. You DID hunker down on the official Day of Rest. Even God took a day off. ;)
I do recall that for Catholics, Sundays are days off during Lent (which is why Lent is only 40 days long). Those days off are hard. I wonder, because I had to work on grading ON Sunday instead of taking Sunday off and because this totally bummed me out (I loved having that day off) if this was one reason behind the migraine.
ReplyDeleteOf course, it could be due to the weather change and I'm seeing a deeper meaning when the cigar is only a cigar. But, I don't think so - it's too much a recurring pattern in my life.
When I was a child my father was never satisfied with grades - even straight A's - because he wanted to see me working all the time on schoolwork and A's were easy for me to learn. I wonder how much of that I internalized.